Friday, July 13, 2012

One Step Closer? - The American Military Partner Association

For the past year, Daniel and I have been preparing for him to take command.? This preparation has pulled a lot out of us mentally, physically, and emotionally.? The bigger part of our journey has been a blessing: restoring faith and making our relationship stronger.? During this time we made many sacrifices to make our relationship work?sacrifices that I made to support my soldier; the same sacrifices Daniel made to support his country. Some of the challenges that we faced I feel would have been easier for heterosexual couples given the same experience, but we made it happen.? We worked through it and stayed strong, empowering one another the whole way.? Through all of this our relationship was made stronger. We made it through all of that, and before we knew it, we were about to enter the week in which Daniel was to take command on that Friday.?

That same week, Daniel was called and asked a very important question, a question that would bring a little anxiety and make for some really heated debates.? Daniel?had?sent an email to Public Affairs that included his guest list. In this email Daniel had me listed as his partner and stated that an invitation would not be required for me or his parents because we knew all the details and would definitely be in attendance. PAO called Daniel and told him that they wanted to send me and his parents an invitation because they thought it would be a nice gesture, but they would respect his wishes.

*Wait! Did they just say they wanted to include me as his partner on the invitation list?*

Daniel then was asked another question: ?Would you like to make a presentation to Johnathan or your parents??

*Wait! Are they encouraging him to make a presentation to me? A SAME SEX PARTNER?*

Hearing all of this, I was immediately filled with happiness, and was even more excited for the day.? I finally felt that Daniel would be recognized as who he truly is: a family oriented man, a man of stability, a man that truly understands the challenges of being in a relationship while serving in the US Armed Forces. He?doesn?t just stands in front of his soldiers and their families and claim to understand the challenges that come along with that without ever having experienced them.
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I heard Daniel going over his speech and he referred to me as his partner. I was ecstatic at that point. I was overcome with happiness to know that I would be publicly acknowledged by him as his partner, with no repercussion for doing so.? Later, I heard the phone ring.? The call was from Col. Baggio, the Chief of Public Affairs and Daniel?s soon-to-be boss. I was back to having butterflies because Col. Baggio was described to me as being an ?infantry man,? stationed at Bragg, the home of the 82nd, ?in Fayetteville, NC. ?I automatically assumed that he was going to rip us apart after Daniel told him about what he planned to speak about. But after they hung up, Daniel said it was just a ?housekeeping? call and was uneventful.?

I was then later told by Daniel that Gen. Rodriguez would be in attendance.

*WAIT! A FOUR-STAR IS COMING?!*

This again?brought mixed feelings.? I?was very proud of Daniel to know that a four-star would be in attendance, but at?the same time I was?terrified that we would be, once again,?eaten alive by this imaginary Army shark guy that I pictured in my head. This day would definitely be one to be remembered?whether as a positive event or a negative event was yet to be determined.

So, it was the big day! Daniel was taking command and it would be known that we are together, together as a couple, a same sex couple in front of a four-star and everyone else in attendance.? I walked in the door and I was immediately approached by a soldier who introduced himself as Sgt. Schenk.? I responded, telling him my name.? He then went over the ceremony with Daniel?s parents and me on what we should expect to happen with the presenting of the gifts.? He then walked us over to our assigned seats, which, by the way, were on the front row!? Before the ceremony began, many people came over and introduced themselves to me.? Many of whom were senior ranking officers.? Others were people that would be working closely with Daniel during his time as commander, or friends of his that he has known for many years, including his mentors.? They never batted an eye at the fact that I was there as his partner, his lover, his friend, his spouse.?

The ceremony started and before I knew it my name was being mentioned by the colonel as Daniel?s partner, acknowledging the fact that I, like any other military spouse, have made sacrifices and will make more and need guidance during this time, especially as a commander?s spouse. The ceremony then went on, a ceremony of great importance and tradition recognizing Daniel as the great soldier that he is and the many things that he has done and things that he will do.? With his friends, family, colleagues, and superiors all as witnesses, he gave a phenomenal speech and the ceremony concluded.

At the end, I was beckoned over by Daniel to stand with him at the door. We were then approached by one person, and then another, and then another. At that time I noticed that the tradition of congratulations continued with the ceremony, as with any other, with a receiving line.? I was by his side. People were walking up to me, shaking my hand, and WELCOMING me to ?the FORSCOM family!? Even though the military and society have a lot more ground to cover in regards to equality, at that moment I felt as if I were equal.? As if my family was finally accepted. I have hope and faith thanks to these great people that I feared for no reason, the same people that shook my hand and looked me in the eye as they welcomed me.?

One step closer? I think so!

Source: http://militarypartners.org/one-step-closer/

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